We've been super busy this summer, and are really enjoying having Kyle home!
The highlight of our summer so far has been our first official family vacation. After such a tough winter, we really needed fun. We needed something to look forward to..so we planned a trip to Myrtle Beach. It was absolutely lovely. If I can get this done correctly, you can view a photobook I made of our trip here:
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We truly couldn't have asked for a better vacation. It was so nice to be able to just unwind and focus on all things fun. The kids were so good and it was just what we needed. There were many reminders of our little Elijah along the way. One of my favorite being his little teddy bear. A friend had sent me a small bear for Elijah before he was born, and during the hours we spent with him, the bear was almost always right with him. It now resides in our shadow box with his other things. I always look for another little bear just like it when I'm out shopping, and had never seen one in four months...until our first stop on the trip. There it was...an obvious little reminder of our tiny guy. So, I bought it and it rode (and still does) on our dashboard as an acknowledgement that he is always with us.
After a really amazing week, I found myself diving head first into a few days of real, deep sadness. I was hit again by some serious waves of grief that seemingly came out of nowhere. Looking back now, I see that I had probably done a good job of busying myself in preparation for the trip, and since his life and passing was one of the main reasons we took the trip, when I got home, I was kind of a disaster. I longed for him so badly. I felt sadness that I thought I had gotten through. After a couple of rough days, though, I feel a lot better, and though it lingers, I feel like the end of our trip marked a new chapter for our family.
Kyle and I talked a lot about it recently, and we both feel like we are ready for a "reboot" of sorts for our family. We are mentally in a much better place than we have been for many months. We are excited about being, living and parenting much more intentionally. It's refreshing for us to look to the future and be on the same page about what we want our family to look like. We know that our kids will benefit from our refocused direction...and truly, it just feels good to center ourselves again.
So, we look ahead to Maggie's 5th birthday coming soon, the rest of a fun summer (hopefully spent at the pool a LOT), the beginning of a new work year for Kyle and Maggie's first experience at pre-school. Lots of fun, and as usual, lots of change.
Isn't God good?!
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