A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

Here is one of Maggie's latest masterpieces. As you can see, it has all the makings of a sweet girl's drawing....I heart U mom, a self-portrait of her with her momma....and her momma, circular hands and feet???, and a baby in her tummy. That's right, folks! Baby Schmidt #4 is being fearfully and wonderfully made as I type.

I am currently six weeks along. We found out two weeks ago today. I am beyond excited. I think Kyle is still just a bit in shock. When we saw the word 'pregnant' pop up on that stick, we both just gasped. Wow. Here we go again.

I was honestly expecting to feel anxiety and nerves about being pregnant again. I think that would be considered normal. But, as He always does, God has lavished me with His grace in a mighty way. I haven't experienced any real uneasiness (other than any normal pregnant woman does...you know, like when you're not feeling "nauseous enough" or something like that). I am not filled with fear and anxiety. I don't lay awake feeling worried. Thank you, Jesus!

I am truly just thrilled. I have such a different perspective now, that the desire to have another baby is different than it was before. I will not take a moment for granted. I will not complain (well, maybe whine to my hubby a little bit if I feel really crummy). I just treasure the opportunity to hopefully hold a bundle of love, soak up the clean baby smells, hear all the coos and be a part of something bigger than myself.

The interesting thing about this new adventure is how I see the future. I have no idea what it holds, but I have no doubt about WHO holds it. God does not "owe" us a healthy baby simply because of what we have gone through. I know that He loves to bless His people, however, and I know that regardless of outcomes, He never leaves our side. So, yes, various outcomes, both good and bad, will be in the back of my mind, but they will not consume me. What I will allow to consume me is the perfect one who is creating this child. He has seen us through the worst, and He will be there every moment of this pregnancy as well.

We have told the kids, and as I expected, William is pretty oblivious...he does keep pointing to my belly and saying baby, but that's about it. Maggie is very excited, but very apprehensive. She has asked lots of questions. Just after we told them, William went to play, and we overheard her talking to him, trying to pump him up about it. She said, "William! Guess what, buddy?! If this baby gets to stay alive and come home from the hospital, you're gonna get to be a real big brother!" *Insert heartache here.* It is so sad that her frame of reference has to be this way, but what a strong, amazing little girl she is....she has learned and grown and changed just like we have because of our experience with Elijah.

She has already started coming up with names. Of course, in her mind, it is obviously a girl, so the names Rose and Magical are her first two options. It's gonna be sad to let her down on this one. ;)

So, I am definitely asking for your prayers. I go to my initial visit with the nurse at my dr.'s office this coming Friday. Ready to get this party started. It's go time. :)