Upside Down

In Philippians 4, Paul tells us to be content, no matter what our state. Through my cloudy lens, up until this point, I have taken this to mean that I should be happy and content with our house, which feels a bit too small. To not be envious of those with lots of room and big yards. I took it to mean that I am to be content with my used van, when others around me can afford new. I took it to mean that I am to be ok with my older clothes and not worry about my lack of a new wardrobe every season. Through my over-indulgent American perspective, these ways seemed sufficient ways to be living according to Paul's instructions. I have found contentment in grief and pain and I have found contentment in moments of sheer joy. But this is before God began changing my lens.

I am immensely grateful for all the God has blessed us with. I am able to give my children things I did not have. I have all the necessities of life. I am blessed.

Is it wrong, however, that I now see discontent in my life? Is it wrong that I am frustrated when I look at my full pantry and know that what I see is more food than some families see in months. Is it wrong that I am disgusted by the excess...clothes, toys, food, gadgets and stuff...when I know that what we can accumulate in a few weeks time is more than most people in the world can expect to have in all their days. Luxuries. And according to America's standards, we are technically below middle class! Veering into the poverty line...because our society values dollars more than they value people. I am just so frustrated. And I'm even more frustrated when I buy into it. I see all that my kids wish for, or the next cool thing, and long to have it. Then, in guilt, I remember the faces that I've only yet to see in magazines, books and on a computer screen, who live in houses of mud with no running water, no medical care, and often with parents and siblings who they have watched die from starvation or AIDS. Ugh. I am just so discontent. Why do I get to live in abundance, when babies in orphanages are fed kool-aid in bottles because they cannot afford formula?

Surely Paul didn't mean to be content with not doing more, with not caring for those in need. What we have been doing isn't enough. As I begin to see through this new lens, what God has allowed me to see, and I crave to see more, I realize that my contentment has been all mixed up. It IS good to provide for our families and take care of what He has given us, and man is it already above what I've even dreamed of...but I know it's not enough...just being comfortable is NOT what He has asked any of us to do. He is calling His people to stop being comfortable and put others' needs in front of our own. He is showing me and my family this and answering prayers in ways we would have never imagined.

My prayer for all of us is that all our eyes would be open. That God would allow us to see what He sees. If you allow Him to show you, trust me, your heart will ignite. Thank you, Jesus, that my world is being flipped upside down.