A mere 8 months ago today, we said our hellos and good-byes to our precious Elijah. This morning we have been forced to say good-bye to our new baby as well.
My day has been punctuated with hot tears and prayers for understanding. It has also been covered in prayers, calls, emails and texts from the incredible friends and family who so recently carried us through our darkest valley. Man, I just can't wrap my head around this reality..it's still too fresh.
I'm not gonna lie...ultrasounds are not my friend anymore. There is no way to block out the images of a still baby where two weeks ago, there was life. I keep going back and thinking that just days ago, he/she was dancing. Perhaps he/she was simply getting warmed up to dance on streets of gold....
My heart is broken again. It's a familiar and unwanted pain, but one I know I can heal from. We have been through the fire, and we saw God in the flames with us. He is still here, walking us through it again.
I am trying to get in my mind's eye, the picture of Elijah and his brother or sister playing together at the foot of the throne. It will help calm the ache and replace it with joy, knowing that one day, when I am allowed to enter the home where I truly belong, they will be there to welcome me.
Please also pray for me as I will have to go through the D and C procedure Thursday morning. Not looking forward to that, but thankful Kyle will be able to take me and my mom will be here to help with the kids this week.
The daily antics of our little family as we seek to live, love and serve the most amazing God.
Oh, Brittani, I'm so, so sorry. My heart sank as I read this. I am and will continue to be praying for you, Kyle, and the kids.
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry and sad to read this post. I am praying that our good and gracious God wrap his arms around you and that you feel his comfort today and in the days ahead. I wish there were more I could do, but know that you are being prayed for.
ReplyDeleteShannon Hartman
Brittani,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is broken for you. I am so sorry, and promise I will be lifting you up in prayer. Praying for unfathomable comfort for you,
Kristi
I am so sorry to hear this Brittani. Sometimes words don't even come to tell you how my heart breaks. Daniel and I are praying that God will again comfort you during this painful time.
ReplyDelete